English Sprache schwere Sprache....? - von: Heike Sanda.

Achtung!
Dieser Text stammt NICHT aus meiner Feder. Es handelt sich stattdessen um eine streng vertrauliche Unterhaltung zwischen einem Herrn namens George W. und seinem nationalen Sicherheitsberater Condi, im Folgenden nur noch "G." und "C." genannt, das, geheimen Informationen zufolge, aus Versehen im Netz veröffentlicht wurde.

Ich stelle es auch nur deshalb hier herein, um den Anhängern des "Denglischen" klar zu machen, dass, egal wie schwer die deutsche Sprache auch sein mag, Engisch nicht unbedingt die Lösung aller Probleme darstellt.

Natürlich hoffe ich der Brisanz des Materials wegen auf eure absolute Diskretion!



CONVERSATION BETWEEN GEORGIE W. AND HIS NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR

G.: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

C.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

G.: Great. Lay it on me.

C.: Hu is the new leader of China.

G.: That's exactly what I want to know.

C.: That's what I'm telling you.

G.: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

C.: Yes.

G.: I mean the fellow's name.

C.: Hu.

G.: The guy in China.

C.: Hu!

G.: The new leader of China.

C.: Hu!!

G.: The Chinaman!

C.: Hu is leading China.

G.: Now whaddya' asking for me?

C.: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

G.: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

C.: That's the man's name.

G.: That's who's name?

C.: Yes.

G.: Will. Or. Will. You. Not. Tell. Me. The. Name. Of. The. New. Leader. Of. China???

C.: Yes, Sir.

G.: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought that he was in the Middle East.

C.: That's correct.

G.: Than who is in China?

C.: Yes, Sir.

G.: Yassir is in China?

C.: No, Sir.

G.: Look, Condi. I neet to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

C.: Kofi?

G.: No, thanks.

C.: You want Kofi?

G.: No.

C.: So you don't want Kofi?

G.: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And than get the U.N.

C.: Yes, Sir.

G.: Not Yassir. The guy at the U.N.

C.: Kofi?

G.: Milk! Will you please make the f***ing call now?

C.: And call who?

G.: Who is the guy at the U.N.?

C.: Hu is the guy in China.

G.: Will you stay out of China?

C.: Yes, Sir.

G.: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

C.: Kofi!

G.: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone)

C.: Rice, here.

G.: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe be should invite the guy in China. And the leader of the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East....?

Geor